Even as he asked it, there was a tightness in his chest as he prepared for what the answer might be, ready for what Kai has to say to sink it.
Somehow, the answer doesn't tie his stomach up in knots quite as much as he'd anticipated. There probably are only a very limited number of people who it could have been, and really, if he thought about it on his own, who else could it have been, if not Kyoko? Is this an outcome he should have seen coming? That definitely gives him a lot to think about, so... please, give him some time.
Shinji doesn't budge from leaning against Kai as he tries to make sense of these new facts and his own feelings. Last he knew, Kyoko had some kind of 'it's complicated' status with someone from home. Would that make Kai's affections something inherently fruitless? There's something about it that kind of stings in this context - maybe the idea that someone else could take her away from them, even if that someone doesn't exist in Havenwell. He can't even take comfort in the fact that Kai's feelings have a very real chance of not being reciprocated with that little prickle of unease lingering off that thought, as awful as he feels even considering it.
"She's really great," he murmurs eventually, voice small despite how heavy it is. 'If I can't have you to myself, I want nothing to do with you,' echoes distantly through his mind as he tells himself to be careful with how he approaches his response. He can't be like that, above everything else. He can't afford to let his own greed push Kai away. "I don't think I can blame you."
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Somehow, the answer doesn't tie his stomach up in knots quite as much as he'd anticipated. There probably are only a very limited number of people who it could have been, and really, if he thought about it on his own, who else could it have been, if not Kyoko? Is this an outcome he should have seen coming? That definitely gives him a lot to think about, so... please, give him some time.
Shinji doesn't budge from leaning against Kai as he tries to make sense of these new facts and his own feelings. Last he knew, Kyoko had some kind of 'it's complicated' status with someone from home. Would that make Kai's affections something inherently fruitless? There's something about it that kind of stings in this context - maybe the idea that someone else could take her away from them, even if that someone doesn't exist in Havenwell. He can't even take comfort in the fact that Kai's feelings have a very real chance of not being reciprocated with that little prickle of unease lingering off that thought, as awful as he feels even considering it.
"She's really great," he murmurs eventually, voice small despite how heavy it is. 'If I can't have you to myself, I want nothing to do with you,' echoes distantly through his mind as he tells himself to be careful with how he approaches his response. He can't be like that, above everything else. He can't afford to let his own greed push Kai away. "I don't think I can blame you."