Shinji Ikari (碇 シンジ) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hedgehogsdilemma) wrote2018-09-16 12:24 am
hedgehogsdilemma) wrote2018-09-16 12:24 amHutopia September 2020 Shared Memories
So I'm not taking up all of that page real estate with these long ass comments.
hedgehogsdilemma) wrote2018-09-16 12:24 am
REM: Kyoko (CW: Major injury)
Tense and uncertain, he complies. 'Walk', he wills himself, taking an enormous and successful step forward from atop his incredibly high vantage point, moving him forward through the landscape of a city at nightfall, moving ever closer to the target - a massive, jet black bipedal figure, too long and too thin to be entirely human-shaped, a pair of birdlike skulls set between its shoulders, a smattering of bones set atop its skin. 'Walk', he again impresses, but the view in front of him suddenly wobbles like a person caught off balance. The ground rushes up impossibly fast to meet his face with a thunderous 'THUD', and though no damage has actually been done to his person, he pulls his hand up to clutch at his face as if it were the thing that hit the street below with a tiny noise of pain.
"Shinji-kun," a second woman urges, jolting him back to attention in time to see the figure from before looming over him. "Get it together!"
But, in his surprise and terror, he cannot react quickly enough.
"Hurry! Get up!" the second woman pleads, as the creature reaches down with one clawed hand, plucking the vessel the boy's safely situated inside up off the ground by its head and, easily, into the air at arm's length. Its other hand reaches out and grabs... his arm? It sure seems that way, with the way he feels his arm being squeezed roughly and pulled back, though when he reaches back there with his own free hand, clutching desperately in an attempt to free himself, there's nothing here but his own body. "Shinji-kun, calm down! That's not your arm!" the voice urges once more, but despite the assurance, the pain and the pull continue until a loud, bone shattering 'SNAP' pierces the tension. The pull is gone, replaced instead with wave of pain and lightheadedness that causes him to freeze in place.
"Left arm damaged!" "The circus have disconnected!" Come the frantic voices from the speakers as the creature lifts him up even higher. From its palm, a blindingly bright light flashes for just a moment, as a new voice breaks through to him.
"Shinji-kun, dodge!"
As if he has any way to do so. The light fires off, hitting him squarely in the right eye with a tremendous amount of pressure. More panicked voices begin to rattle off the damage being done as the strikes continue, but their words are easily drowned out by the sheer pain and terror of the situation at hand. After a number of hits, his skull is pierced, and he's flung backward at incredible speed, stopping abruptly as something large and solid slams into his back and breaks his momentum, allowing the lance to easily slide back into the arm of the creature. One last scream of "Shinji-kun!" can be heard, before he simply blacks out.
REM: Kaito (CW: Gun violence, blood, non-consensual kissing, implied death (also it's really long ))
Quiet, that is, until a gunshot blast shatters that silence, ricocheting off one of the steps just overhead. The sudden commotion causes him to jolt, burying his face down into his arms so that nothing can be seen, but the sounds of footsteps surrounding him are unmistakable. A male voice speaks up, "We've located the Third Child. Commencing termination," followed by a metallic 'click' as something is pressed against the crown of his head. The voice speaks again, "Sorry, kid. Nothing personal."
Another blast can be heard, "Gk-!" exclaims the voice in front of him, followed up by a couple more single shots and responded to with heavier fire, as someone else runs in to the scene. There's a scuffle, one body falls, another is knocked back. This time, it's a woman's voice that speaks up, "Nothing personal here, either."
Another shot, another body down.
"Let's get you to Unit-01. Come on."
He's pulled up to his feet, and taken out of the hall. The woman leads him away, first to a parking lot, where she conducts a bit of business with a radio, and he does not pay attention. She finishes up, asking him what he wants to do. He does not answer her, instead pleading almost silently for someone to help him. She berates him, the words "Giving up halfway is worse than never trying at all!" manage to pierce through his apathy and settle into his thoughts. She attempts to pull him to his feet once again, insisting he can die later after he's done something.
He's taken to her car, where she begins to give him a lot of information in a more even tone, and he absorbs a few bits and pieces of it. Information about the Second Impact, it's intentional nature, and how they're planning to initiate the Third Impact using the Evas. Information about Adam, the Angels, about Lilith, and about Mankind. Cloudy words about the 18th Angel, how humans are the same. About how he has to 'destroy the Eva series' to continue living.
Still, he has nothing to say.
He's taken from the car to another hallway, her hand holding his wrist tightly up until another series of gunshots ring out, at which point she lets go to shove him ahead, shielding him from the fire aimed at the two of them, even as she gives a short cry of pain, her body quickly stumbling forward while she continues herding him along. They clear a set of heavy metal doors just barely, as an explosion shakes the frame of the building behind them.
She assures him, perhaps unconvincingly, that it isn't as bad as it looks, the wound at her ribs that she's unable to stem the flow of blood from. He's finally taking a good look at her as she first carefully hoists herself back up to her feet, then moves to hit a panel on the wall, opening up access to a caged elevator door. "The power is still on," she says, relieved. "There's still time." She quickly moves to stand in front of him, bracing herself with her hands at either side of his head, holding tightly on to the cage door for support. The blood on her one hand is visible for a moment, before he ducks his head down.
"Shinji-kun, listen to me. From now on, you're on your own, you'll have to make your own decisions."
After a moment, he finally speaks up, his voice small and weak. "I... I can't, I'm no good. I can't pilot the Eva if all I do is hurt and kill people... I thought I had no choice but to pilot it, but I was just lying to myself. I'm not worthy of piloting the Eva, because I don't understand anything. I'm incapable of doing anything good for anyone else!" Another pause, "I did something terrible to Asuka, I killed Kaworu-kun. I'm a horrible person. I'm dishonest, and a coward, all I ever do is hurt people, so I'd rather do nothing at all."
"I'm not going to feel sorry for you," she answers firmly. "If you don't like feeling pain, then you can just sit here and die. Crying isn't going to solve anything, either!"
And, still, he has no answer for her. Her tone softens a little, then, in understanding. "You hate yourself, don't you? That's why you hurt others. Deep down, you know that you suffer more... when you cause someone else pain, than if you just let yourself get hurt. But that's your decision, so that makes it a valid choice. That was what you wanted, so that makes it worthwhile. Stop lying to yourself, and realize that you do have options, then accept the choices you've made."
"But you're not me," he argues back, voice tightening before he raises it to a yell, "You don't understand!"
Her hands are suddenly bunched up in fists along with his shirt, shoving him back by his shoulders against the cage door once more. "So what if I'm not you?! That doesn't mean it's okay for you to give up!"
His focus momentarily sets on the necklace at her neck, before her hands move up to grab at his face, forcing him to look her in the eyes.
"If you do, I'll never forgive you for as long as I live. I'm not perfect either, I've made tons of stupid mistakes and later I regretted them, and I've done it over and over again. A cycle of hollow joy and vicious self hatred. But even so, every time, I learned something new about myself." Her voice drops down again, a sympathetic and pleading tone emerging. "So please, Shinji-kun, you've got to pilot the Eva and settle this once and for all. Find out why you came here. Why you exist at all. And when you've found your answers, come back to me."
Gently now, she takes his hand in her own, in order to drop that necklace right into his palm, curling it securely around the pendant.
"Promise me," she implores, and he can only give a tiny, affirmative sound in response. Satisfied with that, she begins to lean down toward him, "See you soon," before letting her lips meet his in a kiss, which she carefully holds for a few moments.
"That," she says, with as much care and softness as she can muster once the kiss is broken, "was a grown-up kiss. We'll do the rest when you get back."
The cage door behind him slides open with a rattle, and he's pushed backwards into the elevator behind it. He stumbles, unable to find his balance before both the cage and steel doors slide shut again, cutting him off from any chance of reaching her before the elevator begins its rapid descent.
REM: Tanjiro (CW: Disturbing imagery, violence, blood, gore (also real long oops))
The words are heard with a tinny, electric quality to them, spoken by a man through a speaker.
A different male voice comes through, "All units prepare for ground combat," as he looks up at the landscape in front of him from his high, high vantage point. Sunset paints the sky orange, and through a small mountain range, past a quiet city, comes an enormous figure, large and mostly humanoid in shape.
"Huh?" he exclaims softly in genuine surprise, "No way... An Angel? Is that an Angel?!"
"Correct," yet another male voice affirms. "That is the target."
"You said that this is the target," he replies, voice slowly building from surprise to worried confusion, "but that's an Eva, isn't it?!" A moment passes, as the figure moves out of his line of sight. He comments out loud to himself, "I wonder if it's piloted by human, too? A child our age..."
His wonders are answered by a digital screen popping up next to him, labeled 'Unit-02', where a red-headed girl incredulously says, "You still don't know?! The pilot of Unit-03 is--" she is abruptly cut off, the screen suddenly turning to static.
"Asuka?" he calls, but this time he is only answered with a horrified scream and the sounds of a scuffle from the other side of the still hazy screen, moments before it blinks out of existence altogether. "Asuka?!"
A few moments of status updates are delivered through his unit's intercom, confirming Unit-02 having gone silent, and the pilot being retrieved via rescue squad. Shinji is then directed to 'assist Unit-00'. Only a few moments pass, however, before more sounds of strife can be heard from nearby.
"Unit-00 is severely damaged. The pilot is wounded," comes another status update.
"No way..." he utters in disbelief.
A voice comes through with another command, "The target is approaching you, it will contact you in twenty. You must destroy it."
"But this target is..." he looks out at it, as it is indeed approaching him head on, continuing to walk at a very even pace, footsteps crashing with the street below its every step. "Isn't there a person in there?" Crash, crash. "Another child my own age" CRASH, CRASH. His hands shake at the controls in front of him, and he doesn't move.
The target, the figure now standing only a few paces in front of him, suddenly rears its head back with a roar, crouching down before springing up with a mighty jump to close that distance between them, landing foot-first into him as he attempts to at least block the attack with his (his?) arms. He's knocked onto his back, sliding a bit as the creature in front of him lands hunched down on all fours. From this position, he can catch sight of something on the thing's back, and he utters in disbelief, "An entry plug...! There is a person in there, just as I thought!"
He stands back up as the creature whips one of its arms across the ground, then stretches it out over the distance it created to catch him by the neck, only to follow it shortly with the second arm, squeezing tightly before pinning him back down.
"Problems in life support!" comes one of those support voices, followed up with another one declaring, "The pilot's in danger!"
The voice issuing commands cuts in, "Shinji, why don't you fight?"
"There's a person in there, father," comes his own voice, weak and strained from the pressure being applied to his throat.
"Irrelevant. It is an Angel! Our enemy!"
"But... but I can't! I've got to save them, I can't just kill somebody!"
"You'll die."
"I don't care! It's better than killing someone!"
A couple of moments pass, with him neither moving to fight, nor the creature relenting its assault, before all at once, all of that pressure is suddenly gone, and the light around him dim out. He lurches forward in his seat, able to breathe easily once more, and takes the reprieve to catch his breath. After a few seconds, the power returns to his surroundings, the light this time bathing the cabin in red. A whirring noise can be heard, and he looks behind him to see the device it's coming from, the words 'OPERATION DUMMY SYSTEM: REI" illuminated on the side.
"What is this...?" He only has a few moments to wonder, before the reality of 'something bad' dawns on him. "What did you do, father?!"
No answer comes for him, and he is instead left to watch as the hands of his vessel begin to rise upward, clawing at the air for just a few seconds before latching on to those of the creature still attacking, catching it by the neck and gripping tightly. Using this new leverage, he's once again standing on his feet, gripping down on the creatures neck until it gives way with a bone-chilling 'CRUNCH', its head going slack and its arms falling limply to its sides. He can only watch in terrified silence as the creature is then wound up and slammed onto the ground in front of him.
A fist is raised, aimed squarely at the creature's head, where it connects with a sickening sound as all of the armor and flesh there burst forth unrestrained, flooding the street below it with blood, with bits of bone. Unsatisfied with just this much, the armor at its chest and torso is pried off, followed by pieces and parts of the creature itself being ripped up, as if digging through it's body on a wild, hysterical search.
"Stop it!" he screams helplessly, furiously, "Father, stop! Stop doing this!" He's working the controls frantically now, pulling and pushing at anything that might make the carnage in front of him cease. "Damn it! Stop! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!"
But it does not stop. The creature continues to be ripped apart bit by bit, pieces of it being thrown carelessly around as its blood stains the area around them until finally, finally, what was most desired from this being is discovered, and the hand in front of him is clutching a large, long cylindrical object tightly. "Stop!" he pleads once more, absolutely desperate this time, but to no avail. The tube is crushed easily, an orange liquid bursting out of cracks and flowing down that hand as its destroyed.
At the sight, he can only scream,
"STOOOP!"
And, just like that, the assault is over.
REM: Zenitsu (CW: Thing that looks awfully spidery)
After a second of deliberation, she looks over her shoulder and decisively states, "To the right!"
The girl standing next to him, a more soft-spoken voice with her pale hair cut into a short bob, speaks up in a quiet yet firm protest. "I think it's to the left."
"Oh, be quiet," she snaps back, looking more directly at him now. "What do you think, Shinji?"
It's a question he does not have an answer to! He doesn't know this place any better than either of them, and all he can really say is, "Well..." his focus darts off to one of the paths, then the other, before he sheepishly says, "I wonder...?"
"Honestly!" says the red-head, clearly nearing the end of her patience by this point. "I'm the leader, so just shut up and follow me!"
She turns again, stepping into the corridor to the right and leading the trio off once more. For a short moment, only the sounds of their shoes hitting the steel below them breaks the silence, before he speaks up once more with his own concerns, "I still think it's weird, we're going uphill."
"What do you mean, 'you still think'?" she answers again, "You're such a nag!"
After another short moment, though, a red light can be seen glowing in the dark, illuminating the frame of a door at the end of the hallway.
"Look!" she says, a measure of relief and confidence returning to her tone. "That has got to be it this time."
That door ahead of them is opened with a swift kick from their self-proclaimed leader, and on the other side of that door we can see it is a bright and sunny day in the city. Cicadas are screaming and the streets are otherwise eerily quiet, until a massive black spike crashes down into the sidewalk directly in front of the door, causing the girl to startle and fall backwards into the corridor once more with a short shout of shock.
the spike then moves, and it quickly becomes clear that it isn't just a spike, but a leg. A leg of something unbelievably huge, and soon its body slides into view, one of the eyes plastered all over it looking directly at the door and the trio of children behind it.
The girl in front gasps, and though the creature moves right past them, she hustles out in order to grab the door and securely close it once more. She relaxes for a moment once the immediate danger seems to be out of the way, but soon looks back up to the other two. Dusting off her pride from that confidently made blunder, she holds her hand up, one finger extended, and in a very matter-of-factly way, says, "Well, we've visually confirmed the Angel's presence. Now, we have to hurry."